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  1. Home - The Onion

    The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

  2. Latest - The Onion

    1 day ago · Politics Political Profile: Gregory Bovino Gregory Bovino is “commander at large” of the U.S. Border Patrol’s mass deportation efforts. The Onion takes a look at Bovino’s …

  3. News Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · The Trump administration’s strikes on Venezuela are part of a long history of American involvement in the region. The Onion looks back at the history… President Donald …

  4. Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash - The Onion

    Jul 2, 2007 · Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

  5. Opinion Archives - The Onion

    5 days ago · Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The Onion Today American Voices

  6. Cartoons Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · Low Papapproval Ratings Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter. By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the …

  7. American Voices Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use Sections The Latest News Local Politics Entertainment …

  8. Video - The Onion

    Onion News Network The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein Now: Focus Man Opens Up About Childhood Trauma Of Being Forced To Put On Jammies Former Cult Leader Reveals How He …

  9. Entertainment Archives - The Onion

    3 days ago · Entertainment Duffer Brothers Admit They Haven’t Watched ‘Stranger Things’ In Years Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The Onion …

  10. Local Archives - The Onion

    6 days ago · Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.